Letter 6

My friend once asked me,

What I would do first if the ground was crumbling beneath my feet and the walls surrounding me were caving in and I knew I wouldn't be making it out alive 

What would I do first?

I would scream. 

I would think of my mom and how I never told her enough times how much I loved her. 

I would think of my grades and how all that time and effort didn't really matter.

I would cry knowing I'll never be able to hug my brothers again. 

I would think of how I had never fallen in love.

I would laugh thinking of all the stupid stuff I had done.

I would remember getting my first day of high school, and how every teacher pronounced my name wrong but I didn't correct them once.

And then I would think I didn't even make it to graduation.

I would think of sneaking out and getting caught.

I would think of my dad telling me he was proud of me and that he knows I will do great things.

But I guess I will only be able to accomplish what I have up until today. 

I would think of my best friend and pray that life would go easy on him, even though he could handle anything it would throw at him.

And then I would regret not telling you how I really feel because If you knew, 

things could have been different.

But for now the ground I am standing on is perfectly still so for now I will keep all those things locked up and somewhere no one will every find them

my heart.

Xx